In my twenties when I started in sales I thought all the people who were 15 years into this job were old and boring. Now I'm turning into one of them except I still feel like I have a sliver of youth remaining. I projected from my twenties that I would have a couple kids (check) and make as much money as I could (no comment) and after they both started school, I would become a full time writer. I would focus on my kids and let my husband make the money. I would reinvent myself. For some reason, this was how I visualized it.
Now I am 35, just got promoted, not fulfilled. In my twenties I could easily manage taking risks. Now I'm afraid to take a risk because I understand how hard it is to scrape a lucrative path in this life. I worked so hard. I've read too many articles about how fucked up people are in society. I've watched Walmart's stock soar. I am afraid to walk away from this money, and life in sales. I have the golden handcuffs. I am afraid to be reliant on my husband for money. I am afraid of becoming 40.
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